The realities of Life After 55 – sometime it sucks

Today was one of those times.  My best friend DJ was found dead today.  Although I rarely saw her in the last few years, she was always on my mind. She was one of the rare ones who, when you met again after a long time, made you feel within minutes that you hadn’t been apart at all.   She was one of the few who knew me for what I was years ago – when we were young. College/ Uni friends are there when we start to grow into new people,  to discover our real selves.  Donna was there for me as I went through that process. She was the only one to call me to task when I needed it; and to support me when she saw what others could not.

I have large circle of friends, but I find it difficult to make life-long “bosom buddies”.  Donna is one of the few who broke through my defenses and forged that bond. Only she could draw me out of my shyness to make calls to women I haven’t touched base with in years.  Only Donna could get me to pick up the phone, call a complete stranger, and ask for a phone number from someone who might know someone who could get me a number for one of Donna’s many, many, friends. Because of Donna, I have touched base with almost a dozen friends from the past.  We seemed to only get in touch when Donna made it happen.  She’s the one who was the keeper of the numbers, and the collector of our stories.  Her legacy is the huge circle of friends she collected – and the networks of attachment we all formed because of her. She touched so many lives, and probably never knew how important she was to all of us – especially to me. What will I do without her?

I am regretful for all those times I thought, “I should call DJ”, but never did.  I am regretful of all the excuses I made for not joining her on the annual group of friends meeting for dinner.  I am regretful of my negligent friendship.  I hope I will learn a lesson from her – to not put off those calls.

I will miss knowing someone out there still knows the “me” I was a lifetime ago.  I will miss the hugs, the stories, the laughter.  Most of all, I will miss just knowing Donna Jean Lounsbury was just a phone call away. I raise a “megagruter” to you, and will enjoy a cup of Constant Comment in your honour. Rest in peace my friend. You led a wonderful life.


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